Happy Birthday, Keith!

Keith's birthday is on Tuesday. It is hard to make his day special with Christmas following only 2 days later. This year I was determined to surprise him (which is nearly impossible) with a special day.

I had already arranged with my mom that Kaleb would spend the night with her on Friday. So, since she lives out in Corona, I needed to get up and moving to get him there and back without Keith figuring out my long absence.

On Thursday night we had gone to our neighbor's house to have a visit from Santa. It was great. Kaleb explained that he wanted "big toys." And...my neighbor gave us a gingerbread house to decorate. So, Friday morning comes and ALL Kaleb wants to do is decorate the house. I had no choice but to give in before dashing off to grandma's house. I think it turned out pretty good, don't you?

So, we get to grandma's, get him settled, and I get back to the house. Keith called once and I told him I was out doing errands. Phew! He knew I was taking him out Friday night. He thought our babysitter was coming. When he got home, I surprised him with the news that we were Kaleb-free for the night and I was taking him to the Coach House to see Mike Ness. The show was AMAZING!!! We sat with a fun group and had a great time (except I drank a little too much wine).

The next part of the surprise is that I had set up a tee-time to play at Trilogy (where my mom lives) on Saturday morning. Keith could not have been more surprised or more happy. We had a great time together. I totally suck at golf, but I enjoy having 4 hours with Keith. It gives us a lot of time to chat. I actually played pretty well on Saturday. Keith was happy. Kaleb had a great time at grandma's. It was nice.

Christmas Past

When I was growing up, there was one place where I felt really happy all the time - my grandmother's house. There was no yelling or screaming...ever. There was a lot of laughing and smiling. Her house was all about us (me and my 2 brothers). She made everything so much fun. In the back yard, she set up a whole area for me to make mud pies. We would roast marshmallows over a fire pit, make homemade ice-cream, and have tons of fun. In her pantry were always raisins and life savers, in the fridge was Martinelli's sparkling cider, and in the freezer were bon-bons. It was the greatest. I really miss my grandparents.

As we were decorating the tree last week, I came across this paper ornament.

I almost didn't hang it up. You see, I collect Radko ornaments. They are very beautiful and a little pricey. So, I almost ignored the flimsy cardboard ornament.

And then, I opened it.

I have no idea what year she sent it to me, but I totally started crying when I read her name. I love Christmas.

That was fast!

Dear Diary,

Wow! I suck! I broke my vows after about 8 hours.

First, I yelled at Corkie for picking yet ANOTHER fight with the dogs. (I think I may have even threatened to feed her to the dogs, but that part is really fuzzy)

Then, I yelled at Rucchin & Sasha for drooling all over the floor when I took out the chicken for dinner. That stuff is slippery!

Finally, I yelled at Kaleb for riding on top of Sasha like she is a horse.

The only person that didn't get yelled is Keith and he probably should have been, because dude...if you make one more face while eating a dinner that I have prepared with love, I will stop cooking forever!

Wait, that is actually a really good idea....hmmmm.

Vow of Yellibacy

Dear Diary,

I have decided to take a vow of yellibacy...that is, I am

going to try and not yell at Kaleb or the animals.

I read an article that said almost 85% of the moms surveyed yelled at their kids at least once a week.

I probably yell at Kaleb at least a couple of times a week and I yell at the animals almost daily. It is such an ugly thing to do. The last thing I want is for Kaleb to fear me, or see me as unstable. He needs to see that I can handle anger in a constructive way. The animals have not changed their behavior one bit as a result of my yelling, so it obviously falls upon deaf ears.

We'll see how I do. I haven't yelled at anyone today. I'm off to a good start!

The 'rents are coming

In 3 1/2 hours my dad and step mom will be here for a visit.

I love them both. Very much. My step mom has been in my life since I was 7. She is like a 2nd mom.

BUT......I tend to get very anxious when they come to visit. My step mom, Joyce, doesn't really have a filter from her brain to her mouth. She doesn't always stop to think if what she is about to say is appropriate. I have also come to believe that she thinks 2 things of me: 1) that I am 12 years old and need to be guided through everything and, 2) that I am a total idiot.

On her last visit she said, "did you know that you can buy things like toilet paper in bulk at Costco?" Ummmm, yeeeaah. I live with 3 boys. I know all about the need for tons of toilet paper.

She used to always tell me that I was too skinny. She hasn't said that in a while.

She also points out that I look much better when I put makeup on. Hence, I am wearing makeup today.

Also, they watch every move I make with Kaleb. Last time we saw them, he drank about 2 huge cups of orange juice. Then he wasn't hungry for lunch. I heard my dad mutter something about all the orange juice he drank. I am sure they have a list of things I don't do correctly. I know this because I always here the list of things my brother and his wife don't do with their 3 kids.

Anyway, the house is a mess, I'm not finished decorating for Christmas, I have 500 other things to do, and they will be here in 3 1/2 hours. I should probably go.

Out of the mouths of babes...

...come some of life's most embarrassing moments. Yesterday Kaleb and I went to the 'Happiest Place on Earth.' I finally got my new pass and so now we are back to going every week. I know, rough.

So, anyway, we are running around Toon Town when my stomach starts kind of bugging me. Then I start having cramps. Not period cramps. The other cramps. The kind that make you really wish you were at home.

I tried really, really hard to fight it until finally I said, "come on Kaleb. Mommy needs to go potty." I totally know this is tmi but - oh well!

We dash into the bathroom, which is totally full of people. I try to do my business discretely. But...when there is a 2 year-old standing in the stall, nothing is discrete.

Next thing the whole bathroom hears..."eeeww ka ka! Phew mommy stinky kaka. Biiiiigggg ka ka!"

Please kill me.

Oh no, he didn't!

Leave it to Keith to provide us with an uncomfortable moment at Thanksgiving dinner!

Here is a quick run-down on Keith: people either really like him or they really dislike him. There is no gray area. You either get him or not. He will always say the thing that everyone is thinking but are too PC to say. If there is an area of conversation that makes you uncomfortable, he will bring it up.

So we went to Keith's aunt's house for the annual Martinelli Thanksgiving dinner. This year, his aunt also invited a couple of her friends, plus the father of the friend. There were about 30 people altogether.

For some reason, the friend was dumb enough to bring up the subject of Barack Obama. Stop. Right there, I knew there would be trouble. Keith and I both really dislike Obama's politics. We are big Republicans. The difference between Keith and I is that I don't like to talk about it with people who I know like Obama. There is no changing their minds, just as they will not change mine. So if the subject comes up, I usually find a way to walk away. Keith, on the other hand, loves to get into it.

So, while I am thinking, "who's the idiot who brought up politics at Thanksgiving?", Keith is surprisingly not saying anything. Phew! Relief! And then he did it...he repeated a very off-color joke that has been going around via email (something having to do with government housing). At first I though nobody heard. And then, out of the mouth of the friend's father, "That is very offensive." And then the glare. The rest of us just looked at our feet. Keith thought he was kidding, so rather than stop, he just laughed and said "I know."

It probably doesn't sound that bad, but the tension was palpable. The guy was seriously pissed. The rest of the night, there were lots of dirty looks and tension.

Leave it to Keith.

The girl in the front row

There is a girl (I say girl, but she is probably 16 years old) who sits in the front row of church. I see her there almost every week. She is usually there with her brother and parents. I love to watch her sing. She usually closes her eyes, and this expression of pure joy comes over her face. I don't know how her voice sounds to those around her, but I bet God really loves it. She is so uninhibited. Her expression and body language make very clear her love for Christ. It always makes me smile. Sometimes I envy her. I wish I could be so uninhibited. At least in front of others. In my car, I pretend I am rockin' it like any of the amazingly talented singers we have at church. But at church...not so much like the girl in the front row.

Dear dog owners

Actually, I should address this, "Dear 6 or 7 irresponsible dog owners in my neighborhood."

I am getting really tired of your dogs running around off-leash. You see, I have spent a lot of money and countless numbers of hours training my dogs. When they were puppies, we spent a lot of time socializing them with kids, older people, and other dogs. When you own a "dangerous breed" (as Rottweilers are classified), it is only responsible to be sure they represent their breed as friendly, loving dogs.

Having said that, my dogs are not perfect. They still don't like our cat, even though they have lived with her since we brought them home. They also howl with sirens and bark with other dogs in the middle of the night.

Oh yeah, and they really don't like when little cotton puff dogs come charging and barking (more like yapping) at us on our walks. You know who you are. It is the same dogs over and over. They interpret it as a threat to me and my son, and they instinctively want to protect us. I see you all laughing as your dog begins the attack. You think it's really funny to watch as your 10-pound dog charges at the 2 big Rottweilers. But you always stop laughing when my dogs rear up and go bananas...why? That is the funniest part! In fact, we laugh for days about it!

If I had time to walk each dog individually I would. That would probably cut out some of the tension. But I simply don't have that much time. So...I walk 200 pounds of dog with one hand and push the stroller containing my 2 year-old in the other. I kind of have my hands full. Do me a favor and keep your dog on a leash. Because I will not hesitate to pepper spray your dog in order to protect it from being eaten! Or maybe one day I will just let go of the leashes and see how your little puff balls fare.

Here is a portion of the law in Huntington Beach regarding leashes...and may I remind you that there is no law stating that my dogs should want to play with your dogs...only that they be on a leash and under control.

Thank you and I will see you soon!

13.48.070 Animals. No person shall ride, lead or let loose any cattle, horse, mule, goat, sheep, swine, cat, dog, fowl or animal of any kind in a park except that it shall not be unlawful to have dogs, physically restrained by a leash not in excess of six (6) feet, or to ride horses on trails specifically provided for them. No person shall permit a dog to be or remain unattended outside a tent, camper or other enclosed vehicle between the hours of sunset and sunrise. No person shall keep or permit to remain any dog which is noisy, vicious or dangerous or which disturbs other persons within the boundaries of a park after such person has been directed by a park ranger to remove such dog.

PS: The above picture was taken last weekend at a walk to benefit pet cancer awareness. There were about 100 dogs there and Rucchin and Sasha didn't so much as bark at one of them!

"We need a game plan."

OK, so I need to preface all this by saying I watch too many "news" shows like Datel.ine and 20/20, etc. The whole 'To catch a predator' series has made me suspicious of EVERYONE. I think everyone is a child molester.

Anyway, I digress.

There have been several home-invasion style robberies in our surrounding area. Not in our tract, but in neighboring tracts. The burglars break down the door (literally) and then ransack the house for valuables. In one case, the woman whose house was robbed had only been gone for an hour and came home to find her sliding glass door had been shattered and her home a complete disaster (I think that was a large run-on sentence).

So besides the fact that I am paranoid to begin with, now I seem to have just cause to be even more paranoid. For instance, whenever Keith is out of town (which is thankfully not often), I sleep with mace and the phone under my pillow. I also keep the dogs in the house at night (usually they sleep outside).

Tonight my neighbor across the street (who is a cop) let me know that a car full of people who obviously don't live here was driving up and down our street very slowly. We live in a cul-de-sac. There is no reason to be driving up and down.

So, of course, now I am convinced they were casing our house.

I tell all this to Keith, who listens and then says, "we need a game plan." WHAT!!! I was waiting for him to tell me that everything would be OK, I have no reason to worry, blah blah blah yadda yadda. But, NO, he wants an actual plan should our home be 'invaded'.

Now I am too scared to sleep. Oh...and when I did a search for images of home invasions, a lot of really scary S-H-I-T came up and now I will have nightmares for sure. Great.

Pure Joy

Today I experienced the feeling of pure joy. Kaleb and I were at Bel.la Terr.a doing some shopping. He needed to run around, so we walked over to the amphitheatre. There was another boy there, and within seconds they were chasing each other around and laughing and smiling. Soon, more kids joined them. Kaleb kept saying, "look at all my friends."

I realized how lucky kids are. They haven't learned to judge people yet. They don't know prejudice. Kaleb thinks everyone is his friend. On the odd occasion that a little one is mean to him, he is genuinely hurt.

I watched him for a while and felt the tears welling up. What I was witnessing was pure joy. I don't know how often I experience anything like that. I hope he always does.

Happy Veterans Day

Thank you....God bless you...you are appreciated.

And to my favorite vet, my husband

...I have to give you public props. You never like to stand up and accept thanks for serving our country. I am proud of your service in the US army...airborne and medic. Your children are proud of you, too (well, Kyle is now and Kaleb will be when he understands it).

Elvis has left the building...

Just got back from a trip to visit my father-in-law in Nashville, Tennessee. This was the first time I had ever been in the south, and it was my mission while we were there to do "something southern."

So...we saw Elvis. Keith is convinced he is still alive, and there is no convincing him otherwise.

I ate a bacon, lettuce and fried green tomato sandwich (that was pretty southern).

Then grandpa bought Kaleb some boots and a shirt. needless to say, he wants to wear the boots everywhere!

Keith and I went barhopping to some honky-tonk joints. I had to visit Coy.ote Ugl.y.....let's just say I saw it and won't be going back. it was pretty much one step up from a strip joint.

But...finally I experienced something really southern...church. We went with Keith's dad to the Victor.y Assemb.ly of God Pentecostal church. It was a lot like my church in HB and a lot different at the same time.

The differences: There were only about 30 people in the service. The pastor jumped up and down on the pews and yelled...a lot. I had a splitting headache by the end. He also called everyone liars and talked a lot about hell and damnation. I was a little scared at times. Also, it was sometimes hard to focus on the pastor because so many people were yelling out 'amen' and 'hallelujah'. It was almost like they were trying to outdo each other.

The similarities: Our pastor is from the south, also. The congregation was very welcoming and friendly...lots of hugs. The music was wonderful. And, mostly...it was a place where I could be with God and hear His word and know that I am loved. There was a young woman (maybe 35?) who was obviously battling cancer of some type. During worship, she went up front and knelt at the stage. Soon, all the other women were around her...one hand touching her and the other raised to the Lord. I could feel their prayers going out to her. I felt almost like an intruder. And I was brought to tears by their expression of love.

I exposed myself today.....

Have you ever had a really, really, very bad day? A day when you feel like you are crawling out of your skin and everyone needs to just stay out of your way?

Today was one of those days. Kaleb and I were getting ready to take a walk. He was on the front step with the front door open. Corkie had been antagonizing the dogs, and they were going berserk....jumping up on the back door and barking.

I could not take it anymore. I started screaming like a lunatic at them. For added emphasis I kicked one of Kaleb's toys.

Then it happened...I walked out the front door to join Kaleb and saw him. My neighbor. Standing in front of our fence, mouth open, staring at me like I was crazy.

I am totally embarrassed.

aaahhhh

One of the things that Keith is especially good at is giving me relaxation time. He sent me to Bur.ke Willi.ams today for a massage and facial. It was like heaven on earth.

Keith likes to set these spa-days up for me every few months....I know....I am very fortunate. Not all husbands are like that. Keith is very thoughtful and also mindful that I don't get to take a break very often.

Thanks, babe! I love you!

Happy Halloween!

Aaarrrggghhh! This was Kaleb's first Halloween where he went trick-or-treating. Last year we went downtown for the festival. He had a great time! At first he was a little shy about saying "trick or treat" to people, but once he realized that they would give him candy he got into it. now we just have to keep hiding the candy because it's all he wants! I love you, Kaleb!

first trip to dentist

Kaleb had his first dental appointment this morning. I am such a proud mama right now!

He let them take x-rays without making any fuss, and then they were able to polish his teeth. He acted like it was something that happens every day.

He may fuss about sleeping and eating, but when we are out in public he is an angel!

Thanks, Bubba! I am so proud of you! Love, Mom

Blog, take 2

For my legions of followers who have been wondering what happened to my blog....I deleted it. I just realized that I was writing "at" people and trying to be cute or clever, and it wasn't working. If I am going to have a blog, it will be for me and me alone. If anyone else decides my little life is worth reading about, that's wonderful.

So...things have been a little rough lately. Keith and I have been struggling to reconnect and get back to loving each other rather than constantly bickering and expecting things and being annoyed. It's not easy. But....I guess I don't really know anybody with a perfect marriage. We haven't had the best role models in our lives, so it's easy to fall into patterns we saw growing up. Anyway, things are getting better.

I have been going through what I can only describe as a mid-life crisis. I think Facebook is partly to blame! I have reconnected with a lot of old friends from high school and college. They are extremely successful. They have accomplished great things. I, on the other hand, have been assessing my life's accomplishments and keep coming up short. I love, love, love being a full-time mom. I get to be there for all of Kaleb's milestones. It has allowed us to forge a bond that I never thought I would experience. I am grateful that I can stay home. But....there is a teeny part of me that misses having a career. I miss the paycheck, of earning my own money. I miss getting dressed in real clothes every day. I miss the satisfaction of a job well-done. But not enough to go back to work just yet!

I am trying to reach out and make new friends at church. I realized that my best friend and I have been drifting. She lives in South County, and even though it seems close the 45 minute drive makes it tough for us to get together around our schedules. I need women in my life that I can count on. I need to have someone to go shopping with or just hang out with. So....I am trying. It is hard for me. I am painfully shy and don't open up easily. But...I will keep trying.

More to come :)