To Goodie Bag or Not?

I would like to meet the person who decided that you need to give goodie bags to all of your guests at your kid's birthday party so that I can smack him/her upside the head.

What the heck, people??!!

Is it not enough that I am having you over to my house, where I will feed and entertain you? Now I need to fill an overpriced bag with a bunch of stuff you are going to throw away?

I think it's ridiculous! I know I'm not alone on this one.

Kaleb's party is this weekend (his birthday was May 3, but we wanted to wait until Kyle was home), and Keith asked me about goodie bags. Of course, I told him how I feel about them. This is what I heard back:

"Well, babe it's not really about you, is it? It's about the kids and how excited they will be to get a bag of goodies."

Whatever.

So now I'm off to the 99-cent store to waste a bunch of money on a bunch of crap that will just get thrown away.

Outwit, Outplay, Outlast

I tried out for Survivor this week.

We have watched the show religiously since the beginning, and I always say "I could totally do that."

So when I saw that they were having an open call for next season, I decided to go for it..

I left my house at 4 am and drove down to Pala Casino. .

At 5:45 there were already a couple hundred people there. I say people, but I mean kooks. They were nuts! All dressed up and acting a fool to get on camera. .

I made my first alliance at 7 am! I was sitting in the second section of seats, and they started passing out wristbands for people. The color wristband you got determined what time you had to be back for your try-out. After the first section of seats got theirs, they told us to move forward. Well, of course the people in the back rows tried to push their way to the front. I held my arms out to keep them at bay. There was a huge Samoan guy (well, it turns out he's Mexican, but always getting confused for a Samoan) next to me who was doing the same thing. I stood right up behind him and rode his path all the way to a seat in the front row! His name is Oscar; we're buddies. Maybe I'll take him to the final two with me!.

I had to be back at 10:30. We had one minute to tell the camera why we should be on Survivor. As I was waiting for my turn, I was chatting with the guy in front of me. He said, "Have you ever actually been outside before, apart from the beach?" .

! The horror! I tried to act offended, but it was hilarious!.

That was all the motivation I needed. I rocked my minute...I even made the camera girl laugh. I don't know if I'll make it to the next level or not, but I had so much fun! I am proud of myself for going. How many times have I said "I wish I could...", or "I bet I'd be good at..." , and then done nothing? This time I can say I tried..

Johnny Fairplay has nothing on me.....watch out, Survivor!

Kids Say the Darndest Things!

The cable guy was here this morning.

Kaleb was throwing a paper airplane around. He threw it at the cable guy.

Me: "Kaleb, don't throw airplanes at people."

Kaleb: "He's not people, Mommy. He's a worker."

Future CEO?

Please help this woman!

http://townselfuneralfund.chipin.com/townsel-funeral-fund

IHOP

A very important meeting is taking place this morning at IHOP.

Keith is meeting his daughter, Nicole, for the first time in almost 11 years.

It would take hours to type out the whole back-story, so I'll try to summarize.

Keith was in a relationship with a woman who became pregnant (surprise!). Their relationship was already pretty much over, but they tried to make it work for the baby. It did not.

When Nicole was born, Keith saw her as much as was allowed by her mom. Soon, things became tense.

This woman also happens to be a police officer, so let's just say she likes to be in charge and has a tough time admitting she could ever make a mistake. The 2 of them had an argument, after which things got very ugly and she made it next to impossible for Keith to see Nicole.

At some point, Keith realized that his custody of Kyle could be put in jeopardy and he had to make a choice. Unfortunately this meant not seeing Nicole.

Fast forward to when Keith and I met 9 years ago. I knew about Nicole on our first date. I have watched him struggle with the pain of his choices for the past 9 years.

There are many sad things about this story: that Nicole has not had a chance to have a father, that Keith has not known his daughter, and that both Kyle and Kaleb are being deprived of a sister. The ironic thing is that even people who don't much care for Keith are amazed at what an awesome dad he is. Truly, it is one of the things that made me fall in love with him. The proof of his ability as a parent is visible in his relationship with Kyle.

About 3 years ago, Keith reached out to this woman again and she basically made it clear that she would stop at nothing to keep him from Nicole.

About a month ago, Keith got a friend request on Facebook from this woman's brother. He said that Nicole is at the age (almost 12) where she is starting to ask questions and had expressed an interest in meeting Keith (again).

So...and let me pause to thank you if you are still reading...Keith and I visited an attorney to find out what our options are and what to expect. We left the meeting hoping that it would be possible to avoid the court system. Keith reached out to the brother for help.

A few days later, Nicole's mom called Keith. I think she is getting a lot of pressure from her family, who disagree with some of her choices, and also I think Nicole is asking more questions than she wants to answer. She is finally ready to let go of some of her control and let Nicole and Keith have a relationship.

So....this morning the 3 of them are meeting for breakfast at Nicole's favorite spot. Her mom didn't tell her about it, so I bet it will be a very emotional reunion. I know Keith was up very early!

I think what keeps going through my mind is that God is working in Keith's life. Keith has worked tirelessly to live as Jesus wants us too...in love for everyone, not just our friends. He has put aside his anger and truly forgiven. I am in awe of his ability to love and to let go. He is reaping what he has sown. He is truly deserving of a happy ending.

I am also in awe of God's plans. He blessed me with one baby that I had the joy of carrying and giving birth to. He blessed me with another son who I did not carry, but have been allowed to mother for the past 7 years of our marriage. Now, he is giving me the challenge of a 12 year-old girls in the throes of puberty. I hope that we will develop a loving relationship also.

I am on pins and needles for Keith to get home! God is good!

"All by myself!"

These are Kaleb's favorite words these days. I try to help him get dressed..."no Mommy, I can do it ALL BY MYSELF."

I try to brush his teeth..."no Mommy, I can do it ALL BY MYSELF."

I try to put him in his car seat..."no Mommy, I can do it ALL BY MYSELF."

Get the picture?

I should be happy that he is trying to become more independent. That's the goal, right? I mean, I guess I can't do it all for him forever.

...but, I'm just not ready to let him go that much yet.

The only comfort I have is that when he is tired, he still yells "Mommy, Mommy! I need you!"

...sigh

I am blessed...

...beyond compare. It is 9:30 at night, and the sounds of my family sleeping are all around me. Keith is snoring, the dogs are breathing deep, Corkie is here sleeping in front of my computer, and Kaleb just fell peacefully asleep in his own bed!

I can remember a time when I was dating and it seemed like every guy I went out with turned out to be a complete jerk! I really thought I would never marry, and would grow old with my cats. I was totally OK with that plan.

Today I am married to my best friend. He is always supportive of me no matter what, he always has my back, and he is thoughtful to a fault. I was totally spoiled for Mother's Day weekend....and not with expensive gifts, just several things that showed he put real thought into it.

We thought we would never have kids of our own. I figured I would just be an awesome step mom to Kyle as he grew up. And I am. He is as much my son as if I had given birth to him myself.

Our dogs are the best! Of course, we ended up with 2 because of the whole never-gonna-have-kids-of-our-own deal. And despite the added energy they bring to the house, they really do make our house a home. I hope they are as happy with us as we are with them.

Of course, I can't forget Corkie...I've had her since I was 21. I got her when I still lived in Connecticut. She has seen a lot of changes in our lives over the years, and she remains snuggled up in the crook of my arm every night.

Last but not least - Kaleb. My sweet, precious, amazing gift from God. I tell him every day how lucky I am that God chose me to be his mommy here on earth. He has taught me so many lessons on love, patience, joy, worry, and hope. I just can't say enough how much I love him. It also really helps that he finally sleeps through the night, most of the time in his own room!

We don't live in a huge house. We don't have wads of cash in our pockets. We don't always have enough for the "extras" that we'd like to buy.

Who cares? We have a home full of love and laughter. We are blessed.

Not their World Vision?

I have been so busy lately that I haven't had time to blog. I have many posts-in-progress, like my review of Kate Gosselin's visit to our church (so much more interesting now that Jon is supposedly having an affair), Kaleb turned 3 this past Sunday (!), and he is (finally) potty-trained!

For now, I have time to vent my frustration about this:

Kaleb's birthday party isn't until the end of the month. Even though his actual birthday was Sunday, we are waiting until Kyle gets home from school to have the party.

So: if you have little ones, then you know they tend to accumulate a lot of junk. I'm talking about those toys that they never play with, and end up taking up too much space.

Kaleb has grandparents and step-grandparents who spoil him crazy, so once they are done giving him presents he has plenty. I decided for his party to ask that in lieu of gifts, people donate to our World Vision sponsor child. His name is Fredrick. He lives in Kenya and his 16th birthday is also this month. I thought it was a great idea. After all, if someone is willing to spend $20 on a present that Kaleb will never play with, surely they are willing to donate that money to someone who truly needs it. Right?

Wrong. I actually received a phone call from someone who was complaining that Kaleb knows it's his birthday and he know people get presents and yada yada. She basically made me out to be a really mean mom who was depriving my son.

I'm a little frustrated. I was just trying to do something nice for someone who has so little. Kaleb has so much; it doesn't seem like a big deal to let someone else "take" some of his loot.