Characters from the Fair

Last weekend I went to a teacher job fair for the Diocese of Orange. I am starting to amp up my search for a job next year, and I really want to get back to the classroom. I miss it so much. And, since I worked for the Diocese before, I figure this might be my best bet in getting a teaching job in this state (in case you haven't heard, California schools are in crisis and there are no job openings).

It was kind of fun getting prepped for the fair. I woke up early, actually showered and put on makeup before 8 am (!) and dressed in grown-up clothes. Then I put on my best smiley face and went to the fair (mmmm, I can smell the corn dogs already....oh wait, that's a different fair).

It wasn't nearly as crazy as I thought it would be. I stood in several lines, met several principals and discussed why I would just love to teach at their school. ****for the record, I hate these shmoozy-woozy type events, but I did my best to seem really excited***


Now, I'm no expert, but I am pretty sure a few of the characters I saw probably don't need to wait by their phones for a job offer. Here are my favorites:



1. The guy with the super-long moustache that curled around at the ends:

This guy made me laugh...genuinely...he meant no harm but shot himself in the foot. I'm standing with my former principal. We're catching up on things and discussing next year and possibilities and this guy totally interrupts us. He's got doughnut crumbs in his moustache, and he's holding a mug of coffee. I can smell his coffee breath, and I'm pretty sure so could the person across the room!

A couple of pointers for this guy: Never interrupt people who are obviously having a conversation! It just makes you look rude. Stand in line like the rest of us. Also, just because they put out coffee and doughnuts doesn't mean you have to take them; wait until you are leaving and take one for the road. Finally - breath mints!

2. The girl in the over-the-knee stiletto boots:




Girl, those boots were rockin', but you weren't at Tao Las Vegas, you were at a Catholic Schools job fair! Know your audience! Many of the principals you were talking to were nuns who have spent their whole adult lives dressing in shapeless gray suits and orthopedic shoes. Seriously!



Those were my favorites! I wish them luck in their future endeavors!

Judgement

Have you ever passed judgement on someone based on limited information? I have. I do. Probably more than I realize.

One instance that I remember is this: We were out to breakfast with my father-in-law and his wife. Kaleb was an infant. There was a family in the booth behind us. One of the kids was being a little bit whiny. She was obviously needing her mom's attention. Suddenly I heard mom snap at the girl. I don't remember the exact words but I do remember that they were harsh and I was shocked.

Again...I remind you that Kaleb was an infant so I had not yet experienced the wonderment of a whiny toddler!

I made some comment about "wow nice mom" or something like that. My father-in-law's wife gently made the comment "well, we don't know what kind of morning they have had."

Now that Kaleb is almost four, I totally understand what she meant! I am sure there have been plenty of times that I have been less than loving towards him with my words and other people have been shocked.

Today I spent some time in the ER. It's kind of a long story, but basically I get something called "icepick headaches." It literally feels like someone is stabbing me in the head with an icepick. It comes out of nowhere and leaves just as quickly. It stops me in my tracks when it happens. I have been having increasing numbers of them lately, which leaves my head feeling totally sore. This morning I had a couple of them, followed by severe light-headedness. I had to sit down because I felt myself passing out. This happened twice.

Now...Mondays are absolutely the worst possible day for Keith at work. Remember, he IS the company, so if he takes a day off no business gets done. Hence...he works all the time. The last thing I want to do is take him away from work on a Monday.

So...I finished getting Kaleb ready and, even though Keith offered to drive him, off we went to school. I felt fine and was already thinking about everything I needed to get done. After I dropped him off, I got in the car and as I started to drive away I felt totally numb and lightheaded. I felt like I couldn't even grip the steering wheel. I pulled over, called Keith and told him I needed him to come get me, and then I called my doctor.

Now, I'm parked in the church parking lot and the doctor keeps calling me back to see if Keith has reached me yet (he was still a ways a way). He tells me I need go into the building and stay with people...I am not to be alone. That was fine with me since the church is like home and the people are like family. But then he called back and decided it was taking too long and I have to call the paramedics.

***I just have to interrupt and tell you how much I hate to be in situations where people are going to be staring at me, so this was not making me happy. It was faaar to much drama for a Monday morning!

They came, and told me I was having a panic attack...ummmm...noooooo. That seems to be what medical people tell women when they don't know what's wrong. I'm pretty sure they never dismiss men like that. I was on my way to meet a friend for yoga...you tell me where the panic would be??

They clear Keith to drive me to ER. We get bed right away. I tell the same story to a nurse. She then stands just outside my doorway and gives my history to the doc and another nurse. This other nurse then says, "oh, that's great she passes out and then drives her son to school? What a great mom!" And they all give each other that look (the one with eyes wide open and eyebrows raised).

I cried. I was really hurt. I pride myself on being a good mom and to have that questioned was probably the worst thing you could say to me.

But here's the thing...she was going off limited information. She didn't know all the details, or how I would have loathed to ask Keith to take him even though I felt fine when we left. She made a snap to judgement that I have probably made dozens of times. It just hurt because I was on the receiving end. And she ended up being quite pleasant to me and I decided to forgive her.

And I'm feeling much better, albeit tired, tonight.

Statute of Limitations on Anger?

Almost exactly two years ago, we were at a first birthday party for the son of our good friends.


One of the guests is a female friend of theirs, who is used to generating a lot of (male) attention. She is approximately 6 feet tall, (usually) slender, and blond. She always has on the "right" outfit, and her hair and makeup are always perfect. 'Nuf said, right? I'll call her Glamazon.

I, personally, refer to chicks like Glamazon as high-maintenance, but who am I?

So...the party was equally as fun for the adults as for the kids. And it was especially fun for the men...a bit too fun, some would say. As in, taking shots of some weird German liquor fun.


So Keith, God love him, was probably two sheets to the wind when he was introduced to Glamazon.

****now here's where it gets interesting****

Glamazon was wearing a loose-fitting top. What Keith didn't know is that she had just had a baby about 6 months prior to this party. And, like most women, it was going to take more than 6 months to get her body back. (heck, it's been almost 4 years for me and I am still trying)...(I just lied, I'm not trying that hard...I've given in to my new post-Kaleb bod)


OK, back to the story.


Keith says, "Wow congratulations! When are you due?"


HA! sorry, despite being a woman, I still kind of chuckle when I think of this. And, yes, it happened to me 2 months after I gave birth. I was upset at the time, but I also knew that the person who said it meant me no malice.

I think it's safe to say that Glamazon was a little upset. A lot upset. She was pissed!

Keith apologized profusely, and he sincerely felt bad. But the damage was done.

***fast forward 2 years...birthday party for same boy...

We walk into the party and Glamazon is there. Let me say, she looked fantastic. There would have been no mistaking her for a pregnant woman today. So kudos to her.

She sees us, turns around, grabs her husband, whispers something frantically, then turns back around to stare at us.

I think it's safe to say she's still upset.

Awkward!

Last week I dropped Kaleb off at school and made my way to the nail place for a mani/pedi. I was so excited! It had been at least a month since my last manicure. I was really looking forward to enjoying a little "me" time.

Everything was perfect until the sweet little lady rolled up my pants legs and poured a heaping glob of lotion in her hands, prepping to rub my legs. I looked down, and in my semi-asleep state almost didn't catch the horrified look on her face as she caught a glimpse of these:

Yep, it's February...time to break out the razor!