Monday, February 22, 2010

Judgement

Have you ever passed judgement on someone based on limited information? I have. I do. Probably more than I realize.

One instance that I remember is this: We were out to breakfast with my father-in-law and his wife. Kaleb was an infant. There was a family in the booth behind us. One of the kids was being a little bit whiny. She was obviously needing her mom's attention. Suddenly I heard mom snap at the girl. I don't remember the exact words but I do remember that they were harsh and I was shocked.

Again...I remind you that Kaleb was an infant so I had not yet experienced the wonderment of a whiny toddler!

I made some comment about "wow nice mom" or something like that. My father-in-law's wife gently made the comment "well, we don't know what kind of morning they have had."

Now that Kaleb is almost four, I totally understand what she meant! I am sure there have been plenty of times that I have been less than loving towards him with my words and other people have been shocked.

Today I spent some time in the ER. It's kind of a long story, but basically I get something called "icepick headaches." It literally feels like someone is stabbing me in the head with an icepick. It comes out of nowhere and leaves just as quickly. It stops me in my tracks when it happens. I have been having increasing numbers of them lately, which leaves my head feeling totally sore. This morning I had a couple of them, followed by severe light-headedness. I had to sit down because I felt myself passing out. This happened twice.

Now...Mondays are absolutely the worst possible day for Keith at work. Remember, he IS the company, so if he takes a day off no business gets done. Hence...he works all the time. The last thing I want to do is take him away from work on a Monday.

So...I finished getting Kaleb ready and, even though Keith offered to drive him, off we went to school. I felt fine and was already thinking about everything I needed to get done. After I dropped him off, I got in the car and as I started to drive away I felt totally numb and lightheaded. I felt like I couldn't even grip the steering wheel. I pulled over, called Keith and told him I needed him to come get me, and then I called my doctor.

Now, I'm parked in the church parking lot and the doctor keeps calling me back to see if Keith has reached me yet (he was still a ways a way). He tells me I need go into the building and stay with people...I am not to be alone. That was fine with me since the church is like home and the people are like family. But then he called back and decided it was taking too long and I have to call the paramedics.

***I just have to interrupt and tell you how much I hate to be in situations where people are going to be staring at me, so this was not making me happy. It was faaar to much drama for a Monday morning!

They came, and told me I was having a panic attack...ummmm...noooooo. That seems to be what medical people tell women when they don't know what's wrong. I'm pretty sure they never dismiss men like that. I was on my way to meet a friend for yoga...you tell me where the panic would be??

They clear Keith to drive me to ER. We get bed right away. I tell the same story to a nurse. She then stands just outside my doorway and gives my history to the doc and another nurse. This other nurse then says, "oh, that's great she passes out and then drives her son to school? What a great mom!" And they all give each other that look (the one with eyes wide open and eyebrows raised).

I cried. I was really hurt. I pride myself on being a good mom and to have that questioned was probably the worst thing you could say to me.

But here's the thing...she was going off limited information. She didn't know all the details, or how I would have loathed to ask Keith to take him even though I felt fine when we left. She made a snap to judgement that I have probably made dozens of times. It just hurt because I was on the receiving end. And she ended up being quite pleasant to me and I decided to forgive her.

And I'm feeling much better, albeit tired, tonight.

2 comments:

Heidi said...

I'm so sorry that you had a rough day yesterday. I'm glad you're feeling better - and I really appreciate what you shared. It was a good reminder...♥

Sarah B. said...

That stinks. I probably would have cried and than called the lady a 5 letter word and screamed "You just dont understand!" I used to be REALLY judgemental when I was younger and that is when God taught me a life lesson...lol...and I became the person that was judged...constantly and for good reason really. It is hard not to judge but when we get put in those situations your Mom has a great point "We just don't know....". And that is a constant reminder we need. Hope your "icepickheadaches" go away real soon, not fun.