This picture was taken at least 2 years ago. Sweet precious Kaleb snuggling with me in bed! It could have been taken last week.
****if you are the judgemental type who loves to tell everybody how to raise their kids, then please stop reading now! Thank you.
Here's the background: Kaleb has NEVER, EVER been a good sleeper. As an infant, he had horrible colic. He would literally scream if he wasn't being constantly held. I would spend hours rocking him to sleep. The minute I put him in the crib and removed my hands, he would wake up screaming. If you thnk I'm exaggerating, ask the amazing ladies at the nursery in our church. They remember!
I tried everything! Every cotton-picking piece of advice from friends, family, and even complete strangers! I remember the pain of utter exhaustion that I felt on a daily basis. I was desperate for a solution to get him to sleep so that I, in turn, could sleep and not go completely insane.
>>>> On a side note, I should mention that I LOVE sleep. I can fall asleep anywhere, any time. If I could, I would sleep 12 hours a night and take a 2 hour nap in the afternoon!
One time I called the "Babyline" that our hospital had available for new mothers. I called, crying, begging, pleading for help. This is what the well-meaning old lady said to me: "A well-rested mother is a happy mother." Ummmm...yeah, no shit Sherlock! Do I sound like either of those to you?????
Anyway, one night we put Kaleb down in our bed....and guess what? He fell sound asleep. Like a beautiful cherub. I swear, the skies parted and the angels sang!
And so, here we are, four years later and he is still in our bed. His bed sits, lonely, in his room. Those awesome Spiderman sheets waiting for him to lay on them. Every night, he falls asleep in our bed. Sometimes we move him to his bed and sometimes we don't, depending on how tired we are. I should also tell you that not only does he fall asleep in our bed, but he also has to be physically touching me to fall asleep...head on my belly, forehead-to-forehead, etc. (I know, I know...we have really failed, we are well aware! Like I said, stop reading!)
We have tried many times to get him out of our bed, and we always give up because he outlasts us every time! It's phenomenal the stamina he has!
We are trying again. We really want our bed back. We took a great class at church on Song of Solomon and it would be nice to put it into practice (wink wink, nudge nudge).
Here is how it's going so far:
Night 1 (Thursday): We prepped Kaleb ahead of time that he would be sleeping in his own bed and that if he did I would rent a movie for him. After dinner, he played and watched some TV, then after bath and jammies we all played a board game in his room. Daddy kissed him goodnight, then I read him a couple of books. I kissed him goodnight and went to our room. About 5 minutes or so later, he came in and asked me to come snuggle with him. I did, and as he started to drift to sleep I got up and went back to bed. He slept all the way until 4:30 and then came to our room.
We were ecstatic! It was so easy! We were all rested and happy!
Well, we should have known. It was too easy. A fluke.
Night 2 (Friday): All hell broke loose! Earlier in the day I bought a reward chart so we could track his progress. We decided on some nice rewards for him, and he seemed both proud and happy. As it got closer to bedtime, he was really cranky. Probably over-tired...not a good sign. Again, I read to him and then tried to say goodnight. It fell apart from there. For the next hour he screamed and cried, clutching to my leg as I tried to leave the room, chasing me down the hall.
These are some of the things he said to me: "please Mommy, please! I'll be a good boy I promise. Please, Mommy (kiss kiss) I love you don't you want to snuggle with me. Pleeeeeease Mommy I need you!"
It broke my heart. It was all I could do not to cry with him and bring him to our bed. But I didn't. I just held him and told him I loved him, and that this is best for him and he would be OK, blah blah etc.
Keith took over and basically held him until he fell asleep in his arms out of shear exhaustion.
So...any advice is much needed and appreciated, but also support and encouragement. This is probably harder for me than Kaleb and I don't want to fail again.
I'll keep you posted on our progress!
3 comments:
aww that's so sweet! I used to be the same way when I was little, except i had to have one hand on my daddy's neck or my mom's arm. They eventually started sleeping on the floor next to my bed until I fell asleep which got me used to being in bed by myself....maybe try that? Good luck! I couldnt sleep alone an entire night until I was in middle school (embarrassing but true =/ )
Our worlds couldn't be more parallel...Cole had horrible colic and hasn't slept a full night in his entire life without waking and shrieking and needing us to settle him back until he is back asleep..three years of fractured sleep, hence the wrinkles I now own...we always have to stay with him until he falls asleep and we are currently working on breaking that habit...he has a nightlight shaped like a ghost (MOBI) that he can hold, a moon/stars turtle and his various other stuffed animals...we stay with him until he gets sleepy and then go and sit outside his door where he can see us but we don't and won't talk to him after we say 'Night Night'...if he gets up we just walk him back to bed without a word, if he cries, we hug him but don't engage at all in talking to him...it has taken about two weeks but now we have moved to being next door in our room where he sometimes checks to see if we are there, again no talking, back to his bed...he has begun talking to his animals and not checking on us as much...progress, slow progress, but progress...the NOT talking to him I think has been the key...it was a tough two weeks initially though...he still wakes at 5am and crawls into bed with us but we are okay with that...
I know you miss your bed to yourself, but some kids need more time sleeping with mom. Kids really aren't supposed to be on their own at night, and many aren't ready for a long time.
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